Finding Your Inner Beauty. Self Love in a World of Dating.
Updated: Mar 1
Have you ever had that feeling of waiting by the phone for your date to call you? So, you went on a date with this guy, you had a great time, you think at least you both got on with one another, and you are excited. You have butterflies flying in every corner of your head, your mind, and your stomach. You have already imagined what life with this guy will be like; he is the one !! You know it! You feel it !! You want him to be that man that rocks your world! Your knight in shining armor.
So three days have gone past, and he still has not called you. You pretend you are not checking your cellphone, but every time the ringer goes off, secretly you hope it is him. You got on so well, and you wonder why he has not called at least to see how you are doing. You begin to lose hope and think that this may be the end of it all your whole dream shattered in a matter of one date and 72 hours. All of a sudden you are replaying all actions that took place on the date.
What was it you did wrong? Did you say the wrong thing, act the wrong way, perhaps he is a player? Your mind keeps trying to quantify the reason why he has seized contact and all of a sudden you begin to disintegrate slowly. The once confident self-assured woman that was on that date 72 hours ago is all of a sudden feeling so insecure. It feels like your whole life is crumbling right in front of you, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Stop!! There are a few things you can do. The first thing you should do is control your thought pattern. You are putting to much focus on someone else and what they could or should be doing. What role they could or should play and you are putting out all the negative feelings about yourself into the universe.
When we go on a date and never hear back, it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the other person is not committed, too busy or just plain not interested. Big deal, not everyone is going to be interested in you just because you are cute! The truth of the matter is when he calls like three days later all of a sudden you are gleaming and smiling from ear to ear all excited again. Has anything changed… Yes, you have! You changed; because he called you! Feel better now? You feel validated.
Girlfriend, that’s a big shame. Cause it makes no difference. You still going to deal with the same feelings again over and over again until you learn to love and value yourself first. Put yourself first, and everything else will follow. So what if you thought he was going to be the perfect one and he turned out not to be. Not much you can do about that. The one thing you can do for sure is, control your response to the situation. As women, we have to learn to stop giving away our power. When you give your power to someone else you are seeking validation from them and allowing them to determine the direction your life should be going. Don’t give anyone the ability to do that. They do not deserve it.
So how does this happen organically? For me, I realized that the universe only gives you what you put out into it. I started to respect and value myself and in return got the same back from my experiences and my environment. I also made a conscious decision that I will be the only person allowed to be able to determine if I am sad or happy. Not be easily swayed by outside circumstances. This helped me change my perspective and view on a lot of what life had to offer. I realized my reactions were based on deep-seated beliefs I believed about myself. That once I could get rid of these beliefs, I could change my destiny. At the end of the day when you think about it. You are a reflection of you, and your environment is a reflection of you.
Next time you go on a date. Pretend you are going out with a friend for some good fun. Focus on the fun you are about to have not on the person per say. It’s your first date! Do not lose track. Stay focused and be patient. Everything will happen in due time, and all will be well. Patience is a real virtue. When you focus on the activity and not only on the person, you shift your mindset. You go out have a great evening come home and continue your day as usual. In time. Everything will start to unfold, and Mr. Right will be there just when you need him. If he is meant to be the one for you, everything will come in due time.
When that phone does not ring, don’t get depressed, read a book, watch a movie, get your nails done. And if it gets too bad, call your fav girlfriend and bitch him out … Inner confidence is essential, treat yourself like a Goddess to become a Goddess…