FINDING YOUR INNER BEAUTY – SELF LOVE IN A WORLD OF DATING.
Updated: Feb 26
Have you ever had that feeling of waiting by the phone for your date to call you! You went on a date, you had a great time, you think at least you both got on with one another, and you are excited. Butterflies are flying in every corner of your head, your mind, and your stomach. You already have imagined what life with this guy will be like, he is the one !! You just know it, feel it and you want him to be that man that rocks your world! Your knight in shining armour.
So three days have gone past, and he still has not called you. You pretend you are not looking at your phone, but every time the ringer goes off, secretly you hope it is him. But we got on so well, you wonder why he has not called at least to see how you are doing. You begin to lose hope and think that this may be the end of it all, your whole dreams are shattered in a matter of one date and seventy-two hours. All of a sudden you are replaying all scenarios that took place on the date. What was it you did wrong? Did you say the wrong thing? Act the wrong way? Perhaps he is just a player. Your mind keeps trying to quantify the reason why he has seized contact and all of a sudden you begin to disintegrate slowly.
That once confident self-assured woman that was on that date seventy-two hours ago is all of a sudden feeling so insecure. It feels like your whole life is crumbling right in front of you, and there is nothing you can do about. Stop!! There are a few things s you can do. The first thing you should do is control your thought pattern. You are putting to much focus on someone else and what they could or should be doing. What role they could or should play and you are actually putting out all the negative feelings about yourself into the universe. Self love in a world of dating can sometimes be hard.
When we go on a date and never hear back, it actually has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the other person is not really serious, too busy or just not plain interested. Big deal, not everyone is going to be interested in you, just because you are cute! The truth of the matter is when he calls like three days later, all of a sudden you are gleaming and smiling from ear to ear all excited again. Has anything really changed? Yes, you have? You changed because after he called, you felt better and felt validated. Girlfriend! That’s a big shame. Cause it makes no difference. You still gonna deal with the same feelings again over and over again until you learn to love and value yourself first.
Put yourself first, and everything else will follow. So what if you thought this person was going to be the perfect one and they turned out not to be. Not much you can do about that. The thing you can do for sure is taking control of your response to the situation. As women, we have to learn to stop giving away our power. When you give your power to someone else you are seeking validation from them and allowing them to determine the direction your life should be going. Don’t give anyone the power to do that. They for one do not deserve it.
So how does this happen organically? For me, I realized that the universe only gives you what you put out into it. I started to respect and value myself and in return got the same back from my experiences and my environment. I also made a conscious decision that I will be the only person allowed to be able to determine if I am sad or happy. Not be easily swayed by outside circumstances. This undoubtedly helped me change my perspective and view on a lot of what life had to offer. I realize my reactions were based on deep-seated beliefs I believed about myself. And that once I could get rid of these beliefs, I could change my destiny. At the end of the day when you think about it. You are a reflection, and your environment is a reflection of you.
Next time you go on a date. Pretend you going out with a friend for some good fun. Focus on the fun you are about to go have not on the person per se. It’s your first date! Do not lose track, stay focused and be patient. Everything will happen in due time, and all will be well. Patience is a real virtue. When you focus on the activity and not only on the person, you shift your mindset. You go out, have a great evening, come home and continue your day as usual. In time, everything will start to unfold, and Mr. Right will be there just when you need him. If he is meant to be the one for you. Everything will come in due time.
When that phone does not ring, don’t get depressed, read a book, watch a movie, get your nails done. If it gets too bad, call your fav girlfriend and bitch him out … your Inner confidence is important, treat yourself like a Goddess to become one………