You are probably reading the title of this blog and thinking what on hell is this woman talking about. Before you jump to conclusions, let me explain further. I am not telling you to be an evil person or be inconsiderate. What I am about to talk about here is, the way you treat yourself and your attitude towards others.
Being the CEO of your life is important. You will find that only you can take full control of your life and what happens. It is not because you don’t have control of your life, at least that’s what you may think. But being the CEO of your life is a different thing. What I am about to tell you is something you probably already know. It is not new, and neither is it rocket science.
When we are assertive as women, we are classed as rude, aggressive, trouble-makers, or angry.
This is not true 90% of the time. You see, being the CEO of your life is not only about taking control of your life but rather being assertive enough to know the choices you make will affect the eventual outcomes of your life. I mean this not only career-wise but also relationship-wise. As far as career is concerned, we all know what we do today affects our future and what will happen in the future. But when it comes to our relationships, we rarely think of ourselves as a CEO driving the company forward.
As far as a relationship is concerned, you have to know what you want, what you don’t like and what you absolutely cannot deal with. Between all of these wants and things, there is an absolute middle ground. This middle ground is something that you have to find and discover in yourself. Once you are clear about it, then you can veer your relationship in the right direction.
You do not have a relationship, yet your job as CEO is to look for the right candidate to fill the position. Remember, when looking for potential employees or partners, you have to do your vetting properly. That said, I am not telling you to treat your relationship as if you were hiring an employee. However, you play a big part in designing your future life. You cannot afford to make rash decisions on your new relationship. Think of the opportunity cost, as a woman, your biological clock will be ticking whilst the relationship is wasting the best years of life. Or another scenario is you end up choosing the wrong candidate get married and you are screwed for the next few years.
Interview a lot of potential candidates
If you were thinking of buying new clothes or hiring a new staff member, I suppose you would probably go through a few candidates. You are looking to buy something you like, and it is flattering when purchasing clothes. When hurting staff, you are hoping whoever you hire is the most efficient and well suited for the job; if they are you pray they stay a long time. You should at least apply some of these principles when looking for a new suitor. You need to interview a few potential candidates. This is your life you are talking about. You cannot simply give the first candidate the job. I am not advising you to have multiple sexual partners, but I am recommending you to multi-date. This is not because you are looking for the bigger, better deal but rather because you are looking for a long term candidate. Someone that ticks your boxes and you are willing to bend over for literally. Remember, there will be times you have to somersault too, as relationships can be challenging.
As the CEO of your company, you do not want to keep hiring and firing, that is a big waste of time and resources. You have to hire the right employees, and if it does not work out, fire them sooner than later. If you have chosen wrong and then realise it’s not working out, you have to revisit the situation. Talk to your partner and tell them your needs and wants just as you would with a Job. Now your needs should be within boundaries, of course. Let your partner know how you can work together within your limitations and work on a future together just as you would with an employee when you are talking with them. If you try a few times and things are not working out, it is time to move on.
Don’t give too much too early.
Just as you would give an employee a three or six month grace period, the same goes for when you are getting into a relationship with someone. You have to provide them with a grace period. Do not get blindsided by good sex or money so much so that you do not realise you are getting yourself into a situation you may not be able to get out of. The sex may be great, and he may be rich, rich, rich. But baby girl if you get all caught up with sex and money you are playing with your life and most likely your future. Remember you are the CEO, Boss Chick, Super Woman and you should have true leadership qualities, so you do not get easily fooled by frivolous things.
As much as you are in control, you should also be willing to let go and let be. That’s a good sign of great leadership. Remember your partner may come to you with some baggage. But deep inside underneath, you can see beyond the baggage deeper into him or her. So as the boss, you have to try and understand and give them leeway. Try and talk to your partner and find out what their needs are and how they are feeling too. Just because you are in the driver’s seat does not mean you should become a dictator. Relationships go two ways; just as you will not want your boss telling you what to do all the time. In the same way, you do not have to become a ruthless dictator in your relationship. It’s a joint effort, so you have to lean-in atimes and try and see where the other person is coming from.
Your future depends on it.
Act as if your whole life depends on it, Literally. I mean this is a fact. Your life depends on it if this person is part of your long term plan, then think twice before settling. I hear so many stories of people that are in unhappy relationships though they could see all the signs from the beginning. They keep getting deeper and deeper into situations that do not serve them. My advice is for you to take time before committing to anything.
I would also like to stress here that nobody is perfect. This is a guideline you do not have to get overly self-conscious or judgemental. Know what your core needs are and work with them. Once you have addressed your own core needs, you have to be brave enough to express them to your partner. Your happiness is of the utmost importance.
Until the lion learns to write his history, the victor will always be the hunter!!!