Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic I am going to discuss today. In a world of power couples, Instagram couples, YouTube couples and the media in general pushing images of what a relationship should look like. Sometimes you may wonder if we will ever have it all. I’m not saying it is impossible to meet Mr. right and hopefully, everything works out perfectly and you both live happily ever after.
As women take up more responsibility, it is getting harder and harder to settle down into a relationship, especially because gender roles are always changing.
With the change in gender roles and women being more assertive, this has had an influence on relationships and the way we relate to the opposite sex. Women today are more powerful, we exude confidence, and most of us have a plan for our life. Women’s lives no longer are only about getting married and having children, that said though, a lot of men do not want to settle down too. They have the Peter Pan syndrome and feel like they will be young forever. After all, society will not frown on him marrying a woman twenty-five years his junior.
Before I ramble on and on. What I am saying, in short, is that in today’s world relationships are complicated. There are expectations that most cannot even meet, which then lead to disappointment. Women have lost the ancient art of making their man feel like a king. As a proud feminist myself, I am not saying you should subjugate yourself to a man, run at his every whim. What we realised is that men are programmed by mother nature to be masculine, and it is in their DNA to operate in that way. Women, on the other hand, are supposed to feminine. The great thing about the modern world is we do not have to play those ideologies, but there are several grey areas in between.
Hormones play a BIG part
Our hormones are programmed that way. So sometimes if you give off a bit too much, masculine energy men may see you as a threat. I am not saying here that giving off masculine energy is a bad thing. However, testosterone in the man may react to the masculine energy you give off as a threat, and that’s where the whole story starts to go south.
I have noticed that a lot of women in successful relationships with the opposite sex usually use one of these tips to make their mate feel secure and not threatened. This helps make their partner feel more in charge rather than emasculating him. Some of these tips may seem cliche; however, it is about how you apply them to your life and use them to help get the results you want or need in your relationship.
Give him compliments
Everyone loves compliments and men are no different. In a relationship, try and give your partner compliments regularly. If he has done something worth praising, tell him how good it is and top it up with how it makes you feel. If you don’t want to give him a compliment or you are pissed off with him, you should still acknowledge his success. What this does is makes him feel good and lets him know you appreciate him; like a child it makes him feel wanted. Feeling wanted is a big part of this for men. Men like to feel that they are needed, so make
him feel wanted and needed.
Let it be his idea
Have you been in a situation where you tell him something, and he gets angry though you know you were right? You are not alone. Men hate to feel like they are being corrected. They also like coming up with ideas. If you are ever in a situation where you know the solution, and you want to give a suggestion; wait a minute. Before you do think about how it will come across. You know your man better than I do so if you are going to be giving him the answer, do it accordingly.
Don’t have to make him feel small or dumb. You can just tell him nicely that you think this is a better way to do it rather than that way. You may say something, like “that idea you suggested definitely triggered this thought in my mind”—that way you are giving him credit for the idea even though really it is your idea. The trick is to make him feel part of the solution, not the problem.
Sometimes admit you are wrong.
When you are wrong. Admit you are wrong. Even though your man may not accept his flaws, your positive actions will eventually rub off on him. Don’t sulk or get agitated. Just let him feel like he has had a win. Men are fighters and warriors they like to fight and win. When you are wrong, they feel like it is a win. Let it be so. No use in arguing with him, after all, you hold the power. If he wants to win and you lost the argument. Let him win. Just say, “baby, I must admit you are right”.
You see what we are trying to do is avoid conflict. Though sometimes you should hold your ground. The way you deliver your case is very telling for the result of the situation to turn out positive.
Let him take the lead (even if you know)
Men are naturally programmed to protect females. And sometimes you may find your self in a situation where your man wants to take the lead. Let him! Even if you know the faster way, or you can fix the plug on the blender or whatever it is. Let him take the lead and take control of the situation, after all, that’s why he came into your life, to protect you and be there for you. Sometimes as women, we have to let the man take the lead. We get so used to doing things our way that we get irritated if a partner cannot live up to our expectation of how things should be. My advice to you is to be patient and take a deep breath, Let him take the lead it will all work out eventually.
Good food can do a lot.
There is a familiar saying. Good food is the way to a man’s heart, This is true in every way. Learn to cook or at least learn to prepare pre-made meals well….lol. Trust me, good food can do wonders for your relationship. We all like good food. If you can find out what a guys favourite dish is, please become an expert at making it. You are halfway to his heart. Humans associate their favourite dishes with feeling good.
The way to a man’s heart is definitely through his stomach. Learn to cook and it could definitely upgrade your relationship.
Make yourself more attractive.
This last point is not one that I am going to spend too much time on. In light of all things, it only makes sense to make yourself more attractive if you want to keep the appeal between you and your partner. I am not telling you to do anything drastic. Stop looking so drab at home and start making yourself look more attractive! Yes, I said it! Get your hair done, make sure you have a mani /Pedi regularly and stay in shape. Let him feel like he has found his queen, and I am telling you he will be your king.
As they say, beauty is power, but a smart woman is dangerous. She can take ownership of her man. You do not have to whip him into shape, that will only cause conflict. Play his game using simple logic.
You are a QUEEN. Start acting like one………
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