Married at 40
Updated: Feb 20
It’s no news that the society frowns at women getting married at 40. Forty used to be considered middle age when people are expected to wither have full-grown kids or even grandchildren. Once you get to 30, society starts whispering into your ears, “you need to settle down”; they tend to give up once you hit 40. That doesn’t in necessarily mean that getting married earlier than that is any good.
One good thing about getting married at 40 is the chance and focus you get to advance your career. Relationships come with a lot of pressure and commitment, a lot of people find it difficult to combine both. Having someone get mad at you for staying out late, missing dinners, not calling or caring enough can be stressful. If you can handle all of this and still give your career all the love and attention, it’s okay if you get married earlier; moreover, some spouses are incredibly supportive.
Experience has shown that many people find it difficult, so they prefer to reach their career goals first before marrying that special person. Let’s talk about the independence people enjoy? Marriage pushes a lot of domestic tasks to you. At every point, there are important decisions you need to make such as buying a home, taking care of the kids, doing the laundry and dishes, cleaning the house, paying the electricity or water bills etc. The sudden switch from fending for one’s self to fending for more than one has made a lot of people lose balance in life, especially if their source of income unstable.
People enjoy being independent and do not see the reason why they should rush into marriage early. The truth is that independence allows you to plan your life the way you desire. You can make unplanned trips, go home at any time and most important control your spending based on your financial capacity. Getting married at 40 allows you enough time to enjoy freedom and independence until you find that one person. That one person you are willing to travel all over the world with or share your bed with. If love finds you at 40, it didn’t come late.
I have come across a lot of people who got married earlier and ended up being divorced. They really need to take some time off relationships so they could heal and learn from their mistakes. Life offers us second chances. The chances to make things right, but not everyone gets this. If you are 40 and not married because of a failed marriage, it is absolutely fine. There is no need jumping into another marriage when you are not mentally, emotionally or physically ready yet.
Never let anyone push you into another marriage simply because they feel you should not be single at 40. It is your life, and you have to take full responsibility for it. Only you understand where the shoe hurts, you know the decision that would be favourable for you. Have fun living your life and always remember that age is just a number while fun is not limited to a specific age range.
If love hasn’t found you yet, why not give it time to do so. You may have been into relationships, and you never had any reason to settle down with any of them because you were not convinced and now you are already in your 40’s. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and no one should allow societal pressures to push them into making hasty decisions. You are never too old to find love neither are you too old to get married at 40. The most important thing is you finding love. It doesn’t matter when you do as long as you spend the rest of your life being happy and contented. There is no point in rushing into a marriage that would leave you miserable.
Take your time and then get hooked when you find the love of your life. The stigma that comes with being single at 40+ has pushed a lot of people into making bad choices. Some found marriage before they could find themselves, and that is totally wrong. I understand that being single is not all rosy, but it is a perfect time to find yourself. Do all the things you love, find out what you really love to do when you are alone or when no one is around you. It is absolutely okay for you to get married in your own time.
Don’t let families, friends or society convince you it is too late. If 40 is your time to Shine, then it is your time. Your neighbour’s time zone is different, so you should not bother about shining at the same time with them.