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Updated: Feb 25, 2021

The title of this article probably gives away what I am about to talk about.   Yet most may think I am talking about a Beauty Bar or a Blow Dry Bar. No honey! I am actually talking about the bar where you go to have drinks and cocktails.  This is not about how you lay your mascara on or how you put on your make-up with your Kim K tutorial playing in the background.  This is about where you should be sitting when you go out on one of those girls night out. Cause, really smart girls sit at the bar.

Many times my friends and I have gone out in a group usually three or four women.  We go for a drink or dinner and being single it would be nice to get some male attention. Or perhaps at least meet someone interesting of the opposite sex to have a conversation with.  We book a table for dinner and then end up sitting in a group chatting all night. Sometimes we go to our favourite members’ club and just end up sitting in the corner and talking with each other.   I mean don’t get me wrong this is fun too. We are beautiful women, and you can see the potential admirers staring us down.  However, it is very rare they approach.  

I remember being at Spago in Beverly Hills, with my friend “P”.  “P” and I went for drinks and my friend “L”, that works on a show at Warner Brothers joined.   We sat, ate, had drinks, and did get a lot of attention from guys walking past and others glancing ever so casually.   At the end of that evening, we had a couple of guys come and talk to us at our table. The vast majority of men at the bar had now moved on and started talking to new admirers.

The lesson here I learned is, if you are single and do intend on meeting a future mate, you have to put yourself out there.   What I mean by this is; you have to increase your chances of meeting Mr Forever A­fter, by, being open to possibilities of crossing paths. This could involve sitting at the bar. I know one should not look desperate but as a friend always said, “prince charming is not going to come knocking at your door.  He probably does not even know you exist otherwise”.  Well, she is so right.   We sit here complaining about how hard it is to find a date, yet we are never open enough to the possibilities.

American women are much more open than British women when it comes to dating. They are more likely to sit at the bar by themselves.  Perhaps they are having a meal at the bar or just a drink.   I always hated sitting at the bar, especially hotel bars by myself for fear of being mistaken as a “lady of the Night.”  The truth of the matter is who gives a flying fxxx anyway?   You are losing the opportunity of meeting Mister Right as not everybody will have that point of view.  Now a smart girl will sit at the bar, get a drink, and then pretend to be on the phone typing away or talking if she feels self-conscious.    Another good way to let go of your anxiety is to start a conversation with the bartender.  Get to know him then at least you don’t feel so self-conscious.

Smart girls sit at the bar because, in a room full of people you are sitting higher above everyone else (on a barstool), and secondly you increase your pulling potential by at least 60%.    I know it may sometimes feel odd if you are a group of girls.  However, this trick still works. It actually works even better as being in a group provides the variety, you may not necessarily get a guy each, but sometimes just one guy may approach or a couple as he may be interested in someone from the group.  If you get on it also saves you from having to introduce him at a later point to your friends.  He meets all of them instantly, and if the two of you get on after the first official date, it makes things easier.

Also, meeting a guy at the bar sometimes provides for a first date situation.  As usual, the bar can sometimes provide that face to face contact while you talk to him, and all your friends talk to their potential matches or themselves.   The bar is one of those random places that’s like a dating app.  You can bump into someone, check them out and if they get boring, you can easily start talking to another admirer without even the slightest feeling of remorse.

At the end of the day, it’s a game of numbers and the bar is just so much more social.   Next time you go out you may want to think of opportunities missed, the truth is they sometimes don’t come back.   Be smart and sit at the bar. This could really help get you out of your headspace and into the free market.  After dinner move to the bar girl!.  What’s the use in just sitting chatting to your girlfriends.  So what if some of your friends you are with are married.  If they are attractive, they can also help you pull in potential admirers.   You are a smart girl ….. so please do sit at the bar.


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