WHEN HE DOES NOT CALL YOU BACK AND ….. STOP OVERTHINKING.
Updated: Feb 26
I am sure a lot of you are familiar with this one. The series of events that take place in your mind when he does not call and deep inside you know he stood you up. You met this guy, and perhaps you were not even interested to start. Anyway, you decided to go on a date with him. The date went well; you talked, you laughed, you smiled, perhaps you even kissed. In those moments, you thought, “well, this is it; this is the one.” Giiirrrrlllll, I know the feeling. Anyway, let us continue the story. This is where it gets twisted. You have butterflies in your stomach, or perhaps in your head, your whole body and maybe your juices are even beginning to flow. Boy oh, boy this guy has got it all. He is the one! Or at least, so you think.
So you get home all dizzy and high from the drinks you just had, the kiss and the euphoria of finding someone you finally click with. You like this one; he is a keeper. You are excited, you can hardly even sleep and you wake up the next day full of all positivity, excited about the new adventure. Your mind is already thinking. “Oh, I better get my nails done,” “gotta go to the gym more often,” “perhaps I should get some botox before we meet again!” Girl you have thought of every scenario there is on earth. At work, the smile on your face is beaming across the room. It’s all too good to be true. You can’t even wait till your next date.
The week passes by he does not call. At night you think, “perhaps he will call me tomorrow”. The next day you check your phone intermittently, thinking, maybe he may text you or Whatsapp you. Nothing! As day two passes by your insecurities slowly start to creep in, there is a slight sadness now overshadowing your persona as you playback the date over and over again and again in your head, thinking what you may have done wrong. Wait! You already jinxing it. Perhaps he will call tomorrow.
Well, day three is here and gone and no call and now you finally have gone into the full bitchy self-deprecating mode. “All men are the same,” “All men are bastards,” “I knew he was a player,” “maybe I said something wrong.” Perhaps he lost my number. I am sure he has a girlfriend. You play all sorts of scenarios in your head, that would give even Olivia Pope a run for her money.
You feel you have been blindsided; this man just came in your life and puff he disappeared. You thought you two got on well. Girl, this is what I have to say to you. Stop blaming yourself; there are a million reasons men don’t call back. Not least to say you probably saved yourself the hassle of not being used as a booty call only. Stop overthinking it! My attitude and advice to you is; use every date as practice for Mr Right. Change your perspective. This is target practice, girl!
Listen, there are a lot of Mr Right Nows. However, only Mr Right will stand the test of time. So don’t get it twisted and let him ruin your mood for the next guy. There are many cynical women out there who just have been tainted by how men have responded after dating. Please do not become one of them.
When you don’t get the call, call a good friend instead and talk about things, you are both looking forward to doing. Give each other support, of course; I guess you cannot avoid a bit of bitching and, but hey that comes with the territory. Just don’t bitch about yourself too much. A lesson here is to stop projecting all your feelings on someone else. Just because you want to be in a steady relationship and think they are perfect does not mean they want the same thing too. When we do this, it usually is coming from a place of lack and self-belief in ourselves. Trust yourself and if anything trust theprocess. If he is the prince you dreamed off, he would call you again, or you will meet again at some point, it’s probably just bad timing.
Talking negatively about ourselves puts us on a path of low self-esteem and doubt. Do not doubt your power just because your date did not call. You can always call first and ask if he will like to see you again. I know it may not be the done thing. However, if you are sad and miss him so much in your life, you might as well find out. Rome was not built in a day, and you do know the saying, “you have to kiss many frogs to find a prince.” So, no hard feelings, girl. Sometimes you are just not for him. He comes with too much baggage anyway. Check out my blog; Ten things you can do to make yourself feel appreciated daily. If he’s not that into you. You have nobody to blame but yourself….
Get over it. You are Wonder Woman get out your lasso and find a new prince that hopefully is honest, caring and just as appreciative as you are.